Search This Blog

Friday, June 1, 2007

They must shop where I shop.

"TOKYO (AP) -- Archaeologists digging in western Japan have excavated what they believe to be the oldest remains of a melon ever found, an official said Friday."

My comment: They bred the original watermelon, so it's understandable that they have found fruit older than Julius Caesar. I just think they should clean out their fridge more often.

I'm one old guy who considers nostalgia a dangerous disease, to be dabbled in at the risk of one's own mental health. I grew up in the '50s and came of age in the 60's and remember segregated restrooms and friends with drug fried minds. Little was rosy in the good old days, but watermelons had no faults. Both gender and racial friendly fruit. Easy to grow and easier to steal (from commercial operations, of course). (Statute of limitations apply.)

The ancient Japanese melon notwithstanding, the 21st century watermelon is the most perverted fruit on the market today. Once a sweet and noble ovoid orb baked in the sun of the South and chilled in the fresh waters of a cool spring, the king of melons is now a little grapefruit sized seedless eunuch. When was the last time you saw a yellow fleshed watermelon in a store, or a full sized mellon for that matter? Modern refrigerators are the size of small garages, so don't tell me you don't have the room. I think the problem is the price and seasonal nature of the crop. Seeds are another matter of concern. As a source of entertainment, reproduction and iconic identity they are absolutely bound to the nature of warermelonity. No seed, no melon. Period.

My father wouldn't buy new crop melons until the price dropped to a penny a pound. I don't expect that. Watermelons are expensive to ship, so should be somewhat pricey outside the serious growing areas, but flying the tiny "personal" melons from Chile to sell for four bucks a pound is borderline criminal. Fer Christ's sake folks, live with the local seasonal produce. You'll get a better product at a better price and lesser carbon footprint from local growers.

No comments: