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Monday, January 14, 2008

EeeXelent! (Rubs Hands Together and Cackles)



It is well known that the Dallas Cowboys, in homage to their overlord Satan, torture puppies and kittens to death during their half time locker room regrouping. Apparently they ran out of the cute fuzzy bunnies they use during the playoffs and had to immolate crippled children with pages torn from the Bible. As Satan is wont to do, he let them down, and not in a nice way. Beelzebub let them get close. He got them inside the twenty with thirty two seconds on the clock, and only down by four. The 'Boys could smell the cool green grass of the end zone, so near. So very near.It was prom night, and the bra strap was unhooked. The Giants were flat and out of steam. A few beat up yankees stood between them and destiny. And then........... POOF. It was all gone.

The entire city of Dallas settled a foot against sea level. Teeth were gnashed. Clothing was torn. Oil men who regularly stole mineral rights from elderly widow women without so much as a twitch wept like sorority girls without a date. Blowhard Cowboy fans figured out ways to dodge their bookies for a week or two.

As a sixty two year old adult, all I can say is Nay Nay Nay Nah! Choke on it and die Dallas!

1 comment:

Ceeb said...

It was noticed that the second the snow started falling the Seahawks started sucking. They really should have switched it over to being a hockey game in the 2nd half for all the slip-sliding that was going on in Greenbay's stadium.