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Friday, April 11, 2008

The New Five Dollar Bill



I thought I'd start the rumor that the "Gays" gave taken over the Treasury Department, and have sent out the signal with the big pink "5" on the back side. I'm asking for all good readers to send these Federal Reserve Notes of Satan to 4821 Point Fosdick Dr. NW. Gig Harbor, WA 98335, and save the children from rampant gayification. What does G'ma slip into with your birthday card? A fresh crisp fiver of course.

I've just handled one of these re-designed notes and already find myself humming show tunes, and vacuuming the carpet for the second time this quarter. I find that the brand name "Bud" is being pushed out of my vocabulary by the "Faragamo" trademark. I know several breeds of Poodle, but can't identify a pit bull.. It's obviously too late for me, but you can save others by sending me your new "Fruity Fives". Personally I like the new bills, but I am a godless liberal and have no social conscience.

1 comment:

Squidin the Sun said...

Next thing you know, good 'ol A. Lincoln will have a rainbow cresting over his head and his hand flacidly draped by it in that "you silly thing" expression. It really is the logical next step after purple fives and pink stars.

***not that there's anything wrong with that.***