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Monday, August 11, 2008

I Flip My Floppy, Wash My Wishy, And Abandon Consistency. So Sue Me.

Firstly. I know I promised a few days ago that I was going to take August as a vacation from politics, and I really meant to. I popped a vein in my medulla when the McCain campaign started dismissing conservation as a pussy-assed girly-man's plan for energy independence. Conservation is just another word for efficiency, and nobody disses efficiency on my watch. No Sheik or Emir can cut off our supply of insulated windows. Al Qaeda isn't going to make a dime off keeping our tires inflated. Exxon-Mobile isn't going to gut your retirement by gouging you to fill your tank. Saudi Arabia doesn't do tune-ups. But NO! McCain is the red meat, drill here and now kind of guy, and thinks we should all panic and give the oil biggies everything they want, and lower their taxes. Even though conservation is now proving its power to pop the ruinous oil bubble, the drill-heads won't have it. Right. Hand out cheesy 49 cent Chinese tire pressure gauges with "Obama's Energy Program" stenciled on. That was the way the Young Republicans won class president elections in Junior High. Asses.

Second. Imagine if you had hired a flooring company to re-carpet your living room. And in the process of doing the job the flooring contractor showed up drunk, broke all your lamps, installed used carpet from a rundown Motel 6, burned cigarette holes in the couch, and doubled the price. You would be furious. You must have the job redone, and you are now seriously thinking of having the wrecking crew of the first job do the next. Are you nuts? Sure the guys, even drunk, each have a flag lapel pin and dozens of yellow ribbons on their pickup truck. They do pray before they start "work" the few mornings they show up, and have " Christian fellowship during a beery lunch". One of the foremen spent two years in the Army in Germany keeping track of peanut butter and cracker supplies for NATO, and is now an expert on military tactics. You want to hire a vet and a godly man. You also must get the job done. The living room is our country. The flooring company is the Republican Party, and we the voters are the homeowners. If we accept the level of incompetence and corruption demonstrated by the Conservative movement you deserve the inevitable disaster. I don't, but you do.

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